Monday, April 25, 2011

Monday morning

I wish it would warm up and get sunny out so that Clara and I could go for walks again.

I'm proud of myself today. Clara has a cold, and I had the stomach flu over the weekend. But with God's strength, we are making it! Nine months ago, I don't think we could have. I feel strong today. The weather is yucky, the house is messy, the laundry is piled up, Clara and I aren't feeling well, but I know that it's all okay. We are going to make it! I know that it is not because of my own energy or resources, but through God's redemptive power. I love that!

I found out this weekend that my sister is pregnant again. We had babies a couple of weeks apart. I cried after I found out. I am super happy for her and excited, but it makes me sad that I am not in a position to be pregnant yet. I'd like to think that I am, but I know it's not God's time yet. It's all about expectations. I really thought I'd be pregnant by now, but that's not in the plan yet. I have an absolutely wonderful little girl who I love more than anything, and I am so grateful for her. We have a great time, she and I. Even if God doesn't give us any more children, we are so so blessed. I like coming to terms with that. I'm not saying that it's not possible, but I feel that I need to realize that it could be that God's will is for us to have just one. Accepting that helps me to be okay with whatever happens. We have a wonderful life.

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